The Medicine Said: The Light Waited for Your Return
Each breathe is a quiet proof of being chosen by one's existence.
12.05.2023
Last night, I have faced the parts of myself I had long avoided.
My fears, the weight of my thoughts, the memories I’d once voided.
I met my own darkness, and it asked me to kneel,
and when I finally stopped resisting, the storm began to heal.
Within that rupture, a remembering appeared :
Every night when we sleep, we die. What carries me forward is not endurance but the joy of rising reborn, uncertain who I will be.
Facing darkness isn’t falling apart; it’s a clearing where space begins to open, and only then can creation emerge.
Signalling what’s ought to come, the second ceremony arrived like dawn, enchanting and magical.
Text within this block will maintain its original spacing when published"The light never left, it waited for your return." said the medicine
"You are not tired of living,
It’s the weight of being yourself has worn you thin.
That quiet pressure to always rise,
to keep standing tall while your spirit cries.
Give yourself permission.
The choice is yours to release.
The freedom to be anything,
to do anything,
to be with oneself completely.
To hold countless possibilities,
a love that needs no searching.”
The longing I once felt for love reflected back at me was only illusion,
What I sought in others was the light that never left, I was the source of my own deprivation.
In between breaths, my journey ended where it began.
The little girl within sat there cross-legged, enchanted by life, dancing with wonder.
Amid her laughter and giggles, I apologised for not loving her enough.
In return, she showed me the world through her sight; the mischief, the joy of being alive.
Beautiful and sacred, yes, but the message was received.
“The little one’s wonder lives in sacred secrecy.
The magic dies when the performance begins.
The gaze of another turns memory to mist,
risking its quiet erasure.”
The shaman sang to me, blew sacred smoke across my chest.
Blessing it felt, awed me by the life’s simplest miracle; each breathe, a quiet proof of being chosen by my existence.
It was as if a door inside me opened, and I met the brightness I had forgotten.
For every shadow I had faced, a bright, pure radiance returned.
I said goodbye, one by one, to the remaining ruins.
To love and accept all that is, and all that isn’t, with unconditional faith and surrender.
The remnants of my old life that I kept holding onto reunited with my own illumination.
With each return of light, I allowed my fears to exist, and joy followed.
A door inside me opened, a disconnection from the world, blissful and gentle.
A new seed of hope was planted, for life, for the self waiting to emerge.
The greatest love story ever destined to last finally appeared clear.
I now know that with every dawn,
I will begin again, never alone, always with myself.
I owe nothing to anyone, only to myself,
to stay united with my light, to never forget.
Because I finally understood:
I am both the seeker and the source, the question and its glow.
Everything felt like spring again,
like waking up in my own season.
Life is a journey, and I am a traveler glowing in its light.
My yin and my yang finally met, my darkness and my light merged.
The only way through is to accept not as separate, but as whole. As one loses it’s meaning in the absence of the other.
Not to escape the dark, but to love it enough to see the light inside.
Because the light never left, it waited for your return.
A continuation of my piece:
imi
Author’s note: What I describe above is a lived experience, written onto a page and waiting for its moment to be shared. It was the purest night of my life; enchanting, magical, and not easy to express as it was felt.
Every line was written with care and intention, with the hope of honouring it exactly as it was lived. It asks for honesty, surrender, and faith that someone out there might need to read it too.
If these words spoke to you, if a sentence lingered or reminded you of your own light, I invite you to support this work through a paid subscription.
Your support is not just a gesture. It is what keeps this light burning.
With love always,
Imi 🕊️
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