The Self is Found in the Space Between

Every connection opens another layer in life, whether we realise it or not.
Yet our impressions are never truly about the other person. The brain does not simply take in the world; it reconstructs it. Even what we see is shaped by the mind, which is why first impressions usually deceive us.

The moment itself acts as the first determinator: the air of the room, the pulse of the exchange, the fragile weight of the environment. The other force flows from within, from the nature we are born with, the traits and temperaments that shape how we meet the world.

As an extrovert, my nature has served me well in social interactions, though surface ease is not the same as true connection. I would be lying if I said I was always seeking deep, soul-level conversations, but looking back I can see my patterns. It took me a while to realise that was what my heart desired.

I see life as a spectrum with two poles, and balance cannot be found without experiencing both extremes. Life is nothing but an experiment, and unless we dare to try, the truth of who we are will remain undiscovered.

And so I return to myself, a thinker who dreams too much, carrying a mind scattered with disorganised thoughts. Even if my words failed to capture the essence I held inside, that never stopped me from speaking my mind. Still, at times I wish I had the superpower to transfer my mind into another to show how my view of the world looks.

For most of my life, my words were heard, but my points were given the runaround. I still carried on making my way through the crowd, because growing up came with the burden of fitting in.

When we are young, we seek validation from the outside world, believing approval is proof that we belong. Yet the more we live by labels, treating life like a puzzle whose pieces must fit the picture on the box, the more we invite judgment. Because power fears its own loss, and when control slips away, humans rarely hesitate to drop a nuclear bomb on whatever remains uncontrolled. That is how we remain stuck, forever solving equations with more unknowns than answers.

For a while now, I have been feeling like my needs are not being fulfilled. That is why, when soul-level connections land in my life, they feel like the greatest treasure I could ever receive.

It is in the treasure of true connection that I realised difference is not something to hide but the doorway to our authentic selves. Once we accept who we are, society’s grip begins to loosen.

That realisation highlights the most important thing in life: perspective shapes everything. What feels like a downfall can become the very rope that helps us climb to the top of the hill.

Even in the stories we grew up with, difference was first marked as weakness. Superman, Spiderman, Wolverine; each was cast aside, called strange, difficult, different. Yet when they claimed their difference as power, they shifted worlds with the lift of a finger.

That is why what you believe is what you construct. See yourself as a miracle, and you will become one.

What matters is not how we or society define us, but whether we live as we like. Choice is the most powerful tool humans have. Yet we lose its power in the forgetting of this simple truth: not making a choice is still a choice.

I used to watch court dramas where a convict stood before a judge and said,

“I want to use my right to remain silent.”

I thought it was the most foolish thing anyone could do. Now I see its significance.

Sometimes silence is the wisest act, the only way one can grant themselves freedom.

To confine your existence to a single word, to a label, is to flatten depth into surface.

If we figure ourselves out, the rest will unfold.

Choose yourself first, and sooner or later, the world will follow.

Thanks for reading! Feel free to share if it resonates 🦋