The Steadiness of Someone Sitting Beside You

İmi

The first time I flew on a plane
I was seven.

Right before takeoff
my abdomen hollowed,
my stomach floating
like I was falling from a high cliff.

But I knew I would not crash.

⸻

Alix

I don’t have the massive body of an airplane.
I don’t have the power
to carry you above the clouds.

It showed me how small I really am.
What I can give,
what I am able to offer,
is actually very little.

When turbulence comes
I will hold your hand
and breathe slowly with you.

İmi

My face tightened first,
revealing my dimple.
My muscles loosened,
my lips curling upward
at a command I never signed off on.

You feel safer than that plane.

Alix

Safety is not the only thing
I want to give you.

What I can give you
is the steadiness
of someone sitting beside you.

I’ll tell you jokes,
though it isn’t my strongest skill,
but I know there are other ways
to make you smile.

İmi

Your jokes do not burst me into laughter.
They warm behind my ribs
before reaching my mouth
each time you send that video

of the little toy rabbit
hitting its face against a window,
a carrot appearing in between,

Alix

putting in countless private rehearsals
just to make you laugh at its performance
and finally earn its beloved carrot.

İmi

It reminds me of watching hostesses
serve food mid-flight,
the taste of that small cake
with cherries on top.

My gaze widening with hunger,
following the hostess
walking down the aisle.

Alix

The small cake on the airplane tray
will never go out of stock.

Even if flights are delayed or canceled,
it is always being prepared somewhere
in an airline kitchen.

And whenever you think of it
rainy days, cloudy days, or sunny ones,
morning, evening, or midnight
I will deliver it to you.

İmi

A hollow ache opened in my stomach.
I inhaled sharply,
as if the room had suddenly shrunk.

I was less afraid
of the tray running out of small cakes
than of the impatient energy
buzzing beneath my skin
even on days
when you haven’t said you’re out of stock.

My thoughts arrive like sudden turbulence,
disturbing the passengers
who chose this flight with me.

Alix

And when the turbulence passes,
when your breathing becomes calm again,
only then
will the storm inside my heart
finally take its bow.

Turbulence doesn’t make me afraid.
It only reminds me the sky is moving.

Turbulence may buzz beneath your skin,
but planes
and hearts
are made for it.

I’ve fastened my seatbelt.
I’m not going anywhere.

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